The Villanelle a la 8th grade

Here are some more villanelles, and villanelles-in-progress, this time from the 8th graders.

I shared a second handout with them that included a villanelle by David Trinidad ("Chatty Cathy Villanelle"), and one I wrote called "Ways and Means." I wanted them to see as many examples as possible of different ways to approach this form, and different expressions that it can take.

Some of the students didn't finish all the way, but I had to admit to them that it took me longer than two 40-minute sessions to write my own villanelle. It's a difficult form, but many students gave a strong go. I included the following poems either because they showed some mastery of the villanelle form, or because they did something inventive and interesting with what they were given, such as the fragments I've included that are so compelling to read that I want the students to finish them, if only so I can read the end! I was also excited to see how students incorporated new vocabulary that they picked up from the rhyming dictionaries.

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Mr. Stalla, Rm. 201, 8th grade

Stay Up
Raul G.

Don’t let them keep you down.
Don’t give in to the struggle.
Watch them or they’ll let you down.

Let no one take your crown.
Keep them down, ’til their blood makes a puddle.
Don’t let them keep you down.

These are all your people; your town
loyal to you, oh so humble.
Watch them or they’ll let you down.

Without a care they make you frown.
I see potential, yet they all stumble.
Don’t let them keep you down.

I see talent that can astound
but under pressure, dreams crumble.
Watch them or they’ll let you down.

You hear the roaring of the crowd.
Wipe the blood off your knuckle.
Don’t let them keep you down.
Watch them or they’ll let you down.


Villanelle
Jessica G.

When you grow up, what will you be?
If you work hard, you could succeed.
Please do something that you will achieve.

Maybe an astronaut if you believe,
so go on and proceed.
When you grow up, what will you be?

So keep looking and you will receive.
So go out and look and do your deed.
Please do something that you will achieve.

Go out and retrieve.
Don’t worry, you won’t bleed.
When you grow up, what will you be?

Please do something that you will achieve.


Villanelle
Jacky L.

In a dream I see many things,
a big purple crocodile.
I lay my head on a pillow in the evenings.

I love the joy it brings,
an orange monkey with a smile.
In a dream I see many things.

Waking up would be death-defying.
I see a squirrel that’s very hostile.
I lay my head on a pillow in the evenings.

I watch a green lady cross the Nile.
In a dream I see many things.

An old man who’s very old-style.
I lay my head on a pillow in the evenings.

A cool-looking hippo by the name of Kyle.
In a dream I see many things.
I lay my head on a pillow in the evenings.

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Ms. Catinella, Rm. 202, 8th grade

Arms Race
Samantha N.

All they hear is the bass.
They’re dressed to kill
because this is just the arms race.

These kids are the change of pace.
They’re not going to stand still.
All they hear is the bass.

They listen to the best, and say, “Rad, dollface.”
Their headphones are loud, and they thrill
because this is just the arms race.

They don’t care about the political race.
You won’t do it, but these kids will.
All they hear is the bass.

They’ll confront each other face to face.
These kids know how to chill
because this is just the arms race.

They’re not going to keep a straight face.
These just won’t be still.
All they hear is the bass
because this is just the arms race.


Villanelle
Alberto M.

Winter go away; you cause us misery and sadness.
Snow is powerful when they unite.
Trapped by snow, nowhere to go, it’s loneliness.

Kids throwing snowballs at cars.
Some people are afraid during a snowing night.
Winter go away, you cause us misery and sadness.

Men staying at bars.
Kids throwing snowballs with all their might.
Trapped by snow, nowhere to go, it’s loneliness.

The sky filled with stars,
kids inside of their homes drinking Sprite.
Winter go away, you cause us misery and sadness.

Traveling to countries is far.
Kids outside using their flashlight.
Trapped by snow, nowhere to go, it’s loneliness.

Others playing the guitar.
Miles of snow seen only by eyesight.
Winter go away, you cause us misery and sadness
trapped by snow, nowhere to go, it’s loneliness.


Life?!
Alejandra S.

I fill my lungs of air and shout!
The sun shining on my eyes.
I can see half of the world from here.

Ocean is when the world starts turning blue,
while inside a room a boy dies.
I fill my lungs of air and shout!

Does anyone have a clue?
Looking at all the flies
I feel a big cheer.

Feel like everything’s true.
Air lets the clothes dry,
I fill my lungs of air and shout!

All the people really grew
where a little rabbit lies.
Talk to animals, they can hear

even though they only chew
like winning a big prize.
I fill my lungs of air and shout!
I can see half of the world from here.


Some with Need
Angela B.

Someone needing help through rough times to help fight,
struggling, and putting the effort all in.
Keep trying, keep trying, don’t give up, try your hardest, even through the night.

Their life is erupting like dynamite
never knowing what to do, always clandestine.
Someone needing help through rough times to help fight.

Always trying to do everything right
hoping that no one will break in.
Keep trying, keep trying, don’t give up, try your hardest, even through the night.

Not being in the spotlight,
not wanting to live in sin.
Someone needing help through rough times to help fight.

Fighting through life like a dogfight,
wanting someone there through thick and thin.
Keep trying, keep trying, don’t give up, try your hardest, even through the night.

Waiting for life to ignite.
When something happens, saying, “Take it on the chin.”
Someone needing help through rough times to help fight.
Keep trying, keep trying, don’t give up, try your hardest, even through the night.

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Mr. Balcazar, Rm. 203, 8th grade

Villanelle
Amairany L.

Get in the car
my dad said
as he came from the bar

I was sad
and just bowed my head, as I
got in the car


Villanelle
Andrea S.

It’s time for you to leave me alone.
The day is almost over.
I need to go home.

Your voice is driving me crazy.
She thinks it’s all about her,
leave me alone.

All you do is sit around and be lazy,
leave and move moreover.
I got to go home.

Leave and go with Daisy,
go eat a burger.
Leave me alone.

I want to turn eighty.
You need a haircut with the barber.
I need to go home.

Go and have fun with Healy,
leave me alone you burger.
Please leave me alone,
because I need to go home.


Villanelle
Anthony W.

Take the day into the night.
The fight was not today,
the storm will not turn gray unless you see the beam of light.

Give God thanks for all that’s light.
Because he shined me with his light, he spared me for the day.
Take the day into the night

because the storm was turning bright.
The storm has gone away.
The storm will not turn gray unless you see the beam of light.

The storm has come to play because the sky has not been bright.
We cannot fight the storm’s gray sight, we will dread with great pain.
Take the day into the night.

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Ms. Fenton, Rm. 204, 8th grade

Dream
Karina S.

I feel like I am going to sink.
I want to go to sleep.
My sister is happy and gives a wink.

I am thirsty and I want a drink.
I saw someone who gives me the creeps.
I feel like I am going to sink.

I am working and the dog looks and me and blinks.
I see something that I want to keep.
My sister is happy and gives me a wink.

My brain hurts and I don’t want to think.
The car behind gives me a beep.
I feel like I am going to sink.

I feel so pink.
I am in Africa in a big Jeep.
My sister is happy and gives me a wink.

I am so scared I want to shrink.
I fell somewhere deep.
I feel like I am going to sink.
My sister is happy and gives me a wink.


Villanelle
Mary B.

You will get through, just be strong.
Try your best, it will be hard
but you will succeed, and be proud.

Follow the right, don’t do what’s wrong.
But remember, you don’t have a bodyguard.
You will get through, just be strong.

It may be cool, but don’t stand in the crowd.
If it’s too hard, make yourself a card
but you will succeed, and be proud.

It will take time, and it may be long.
Go to 600 N. Boulevard.
You will get through, just be strong.

Don’t feel bad that you might not belong.
Keep this well: your self-regard
but you will succeed and be strong.

Behave, succeed, be strong, before long
you will remember, but keep a memoir
but you will succeed, and be strong.
You will get through, just be strong.


Villanelle
Tania A.

The light in the dust is dead.
It grows as days go by.
The rainbow’s color is shed.

The dark comes, I go to bed.
The light goes in the green bay.
The light in the dust is dead.

It is bigger than my head.
It’s aging in the day.
The rainbow’s color is shed.

The cloud is scattered
and I’ll be in my way.
The light in the dust is dead.

Villanelle, 7th grade

Here is a sample of our final product from the villanelle series of lessons. Some of the poems below fit into the villanelle format, others are unfinished villanelles, and still others are a different form employing certain elements of villanelle (rhyme patterns and repetition). I really felt like they took ownership of this one, and I'm very happy with the results.

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Shut Up!
Genina T.

Shut up, listen, listen to me.
He is so mad.
Shut up, I mean, I’m so sorry.

Can I please explain?
He is so sad.
Shut up, listen, listen to me.

I’m in so much pain,
so much sadness.
Shut up, I mean, I’m so sorry.

He is in more pain! Pain, pain, pain,
so much madness.
Shut up, listen, listen to me.

You don’t get it, I’m trying to explain.
No more flatterness.
Shut up, I mean, I’m so sorry.

I tried to explain.
No more loveness.
Shut up, listen, listen to me.
Shut up, I mean, I’m so sorry.


Villanelle
Charles H.

Ding dong, ding dong, won’t you come in
Don’t stand there
Come in, come in

Wipe off that grin
Won’t you come in
Ding dong, ding dong, won’t you come in

Come in, filled with adrenaline
You look so grim
Come in, come in

Take off your moccasins
You can play your violin
Ding dong, ding dong, won’t you come in

We’ll sing a song
Let’s begin
Come in, come in

I have some gelatin
Let’s eat onion skins
Ding dong, ding dong, won’t you come in,
come in, come in


Villanelle
Beatrice R.

Everything scares me in the dark blue sky.
A man dragging his feet on the creaky wooden floor.
Now there’s a good reason why I cry.

This is so strange. Why do I hear children play?
The little ghosts don’t look rich, they look poor.
Everything scares me in the dark blue sky.

I hear people up the stairs but in the day.
A boxer wanting to be stronger by punching my wall more and more.
Now there’s a good reason why I cry.


Villanelle
Myriam L.

I am one and you are too
just sitting thinking about nothing at all.
What will we do?

Staring at the sky, looking at the trees,
that’s all you can do in the fall.
I am one and you are too.

We see little kids playing with glee
and us talking about anything at all.
What will we do?

We watch little ants flee and flee.
We hear our friends call and call.
I am one and you are too.

We just want to sleep.
I hate the fall.
What will we do?

It’s so boring I want to weep.
I am one and you are too.
What will we do?


Villanelle
Braulio R.

It is the world’s darkest hour.
The ghosts are so hypnotic.
We have no more flour.

The world even has no flowers.
The horror is so exotic.
The meat is stale and sour.

People are filled with sorrow.
We are not excited.
The world will end tomorrow.

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Mrs. Bourret, Rm. 208, 7th grade

Go Skate
Abraham G.

Go skate in that beautiful summer again and again.
Babies should grave a board and learn life.
Anger, anger, try again.

Through wise kids and adults
skating is life and that’s a fact.
Go skate in that beautiful summer.

Good men don’t quit.
The rail needs a grinder.
Anger, Anger, try again.

Wild dudes who are masters
think skateboard is God.
Go skate in the beautiful summer again.


Villanelle
Martin F.

Siblings, please don’t cry.
Let’s have fun and play.
I am here to try.

Try to catch that firefly.
Let’s have a very good day.
Siblings, please do not cry.

My eyes are very dry.
I will listen to whatever you have to say.
I am here to try.

Do you guys want to fly?
We could play with the colorful clay.
Siblings, please do not cry.

All of you are very sly.
Let’s play with an imaginary death ray.
I am here to try.

It’s time to say bye.
You deserve the pay.
Siblings, please do not cry.
I am here to try.


Villanelle
Jonathan N.

Don’t speak, don’t squeak, don’t even laugh.
This castle is so evil.
My leg hurts, I think it’s my calf.

I didn’t want to be there,
the castle is medieval.
Don’t speak, don’t squeak, don’t even laugh.

I was scared of a hair.
I wanted to shrivel.
My leg hurts, I think it’s my calf.

I didn’t follow the trail.
I tried for retrieval.
Don’t speak, don’t squeak, don’t even laugh.

I didn’t take care.
The vase was primeval.
My leg hurts, I think it’s my calf.

My face was a mirror
I wanted to dishevel.
Don’t speak, don’t squeak, don’t even laugh.
My leg hurts, I think it’s my calf.

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Mr. Czoski, Rm. 209, 7th grade

Guitar Hero
Jesus J.

When I play Guitar Hero
I am very quick
’til I lost and got zero

I’m not a superhero
I get very ticked
when I play Guitar Hero

I’m subzero
I like to kick
’til I lost and got zero

I’m an anti-hero
I am very slick
when I play Guitar Hero

I’m a fearo
I get very ticked
’til I lost and got zero

I’m subzero
I am very quick
when I play Guitar Hero
’til I lost and got zero


To Lose
Kevin Z.

Have you ever felt to lose
It feels just like an ambush
Our streak has gone way past the deuce

Instead of a sitting duck I’m a sitting goose
The enemies’ basket as I stare all I hear is swoosh
Have you ever felt to lose

My anger, my anger, when I look at the final score, we lose by deuce deuce
We could’ve won if my boys never smoked that cush
Our streak has gone way past the deuce

Our enemies are riding victory like a caboose
Every time I play my teammates are so confused
Have you ever felt to lose

As I say again, I’m a sitting goose
I can’t stand it, I’m going through a violent rush
Our streak has gone way past the deuce

My anger, my anger, when I look at the final score: we lose by deuce deuce
I can’t stand it, I’m going through a violent rush
Have you ever felt to lose
Our streak has gone way past the deuce


Villanelle
Alejandra R.

Shading into the woods that are fading
leaving not saying a word to our fame
not knowing what to say when I am failing.

Come on, say something, don’t leave us here waiting,
shading into the woods that are fading.

Don’t, please don’t, it’s not time to fade,
not knowing what to say when I am falling.

Remember the time we used to overtrade,
shading into the woods that are fading?

When we share our things we’re missing everyday,
not knowing what to say when I am failing.

Shading into the woods that are fading,
not knowing what to say when I am failing.


Villanelle
Edgar R.

The world is a battleground of massacre.
It don’t matter what color UR, they’re all out 2 get us.
As we hear the gunshots the world gets blacker, blacker.

All the pain will go away if we believe in her.
There’s no survivors, they hated us before they even met us.
There is more violence than ever, that’s for sure.

As we hear the gunshots, the world gets blacker, blacker.
I don’t know why they make all the fuss.
I wish we could switch good n bad like it was a transfer.

When people die our hearts beat faster and faster
’cuz he didn’t wanna die they called him a wuss.
There is more violence than ever, that’s for sure.

Now the world is a blur.
They would say, Come on, little boy, don’t be a wuss.
I wish we could switch good n bad like it was a transfer.

Don’t U just wanna knock out that fake reporter?
There’s a person who killed my boy named Gus.
There is more violence than ever, that’s for sure.
I wish we could switch good n bad like it was a transfer.

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Mrs. Harris, Rm. 210, 7th grade

Peace means gun in ghetto
John A.

I feel like I got no one left.
I had an illusion then
I was full of confusion
Give me a peace.
Then we saw the police.
I had honor but I knew I was a goner.
I was a fool, I wasn’t cool,
I was cruel.

I had an illusion then I was
full of confusion.
I feel like I got no one left.
Give me what I want, the peace
then I saw the police.

I had honor but I knew
I was a goner.

I was a fool, I wasn’t
cool, I was cruel.


Unintentional Intentions
Christy Z.

I knew about your electrolyte.
But you’re so naïve, I’m too tired to try.
Naïve drags me across the room, here we are for another late night.

The conversation oh so skin deep.
But you’re so naïve, I’m too tired to try.
I knew about your electrolyte.

You wouldn’t understand with those tear-stained cheek.
But you’re so naïve, I’m too tired to try.
Naïve drags me across the room, here we are for another late night.

I’ll play with you like a deck of cards.
But you’re so naïve, I’ll win my first try.
I knew about your electrolyte.

You’re deaf, you’re blind, and you’re dumb.
But you’re so naïve, I’m too tired to try.
Naïve drags me across the floor, here we are for another late night.

You fooled me like a magician, sly and sweet.
But you’re so naïve, I tried and tried.
I knew about your electrolyte.
Naïve drags me across the room, here we are for another late night.


My Coach
Nick C.

He makes me feel like it is my fault
He releases his anger on me
but he is also my dad

He works hard to make me better
He tries to make me see
He makes me feel like it is my fault

Every time it is my fault
he yells and yells but the tells me the key
but he is also my dad

Why does he keep repeating what he has said before
He sometimes treats me like I’m three
He makes me feel like it is my fault

Why oh why does he push me so much
He is my coach with the black goatee
but he is also my dad

After he pushes me and pushes me, I am better
He is the best coach to me
He makes me feel like it is my fault
but he is my dad.

Villanelle Mania (8th grade)

Here is one first draft from the 8th graders and turned out quite well. I am very impressed with how Vanessa made use of the repetition in her poem, literally noises heard over and over again in the street.

Today the 8th graders began their villanelles, and next week we'll finish them up, so watch for more to be posted then. I know I can't wait.

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Villanelle
Vanessa D.

Boom, boom, shooting in the street.
Different gang, different blocks.
Run, run, listening to running feet.

Guys play tough, but inside they’re sweet.
Life is hard, tough like rocks.
Boom, boom, shooting in the street.

Many people try, it’s a game, we kill-n-defeat.
A lot are so scared they shiver in their socks.
Run, run, listening to running feet.

Taking cars, happy when their mission’s complete.
When li’l kids die, families are in shock.
Boom, boom, shooting in the street.

So many aren’t dead but they die in the street.
We try and run but still end up on a block.
Boom, boom, shooting in the street.
Run, run, still listening to running feet.

Villanelle Mania (7th grade)

Check Jacob's villanelle. We're working on writing the villanelle form with all the classes (we have been reading the classic by Dylan Thomas, "Do not go gentle into that good night," as well as a more contemporary example by Michael Ryan, "Milk the Mouse") but we need one more week to finish up. Jacob, however, handed me this hot potato right away. One of his lines was inspired by "Milk the Mouse." Kudos to him, and enjoy to you.

I should mention that some students in other classes did hand in their first-draft villanelles to me, but Jacob's was the only one that totally stuck to the rhyme and repetition scheme of the traditional form. With that in mind, I plan on posting some of the other examples when they get a chance to take another stab at them.

I've also included a lovely little poem from Susy, which she wrote during the week. Both of these poems are from Mr. Czoski's 7th grade class in room 209.

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Let me be for once
Susy G.

Confused of life
Confused of love
Confused of where my heart is taking me
Confused about you
Can I just be confused
For a second a minute a year!
Just confused


Villanelle
Jacob L.

They will beat me ’til I’m sore
They will look for me every day
Be strong, be tough, they can’t find me anymore

They think I’m poor
They will look by the bay
They will beat me ’til I’m sore

They saw me running out the door
They won’t find me if I pray
Be strong, be tough, they can’t find me anymore

It was like a war
They are on their way
They will beat me ’til I’m sore

They almost took me down on four
They might find me today
Be strong, be tough, they can’t find me anymore

They hate be because I ignore
I must obey
They will beat me ’til I’m sore
Be strong, be tough, they can’t find me anymore